We were at a wedding shower...

...in Los Angeles having a great time when one of the six bridesmaid's announced her big day would be 8/8/08. 

"I love the idea of 8-8-8," she bubbled and cooed, reaching her long arms around me and bumping my forehead like we were making a toast. "I wasn't sure about this until today, and now it is just so clear to me," she added in that whirlwind way that spirals upward in its own vacuum and tunnel.

Her mother quietly beamed at her, then at me. The paucity of words made her glow that much more meaningful. This woman had lost her husband of nearly 3 decades only a year earlier following a protracted illness. She, herself, was ill although no one spoke about it. 

"I'm really happy, I think," the mother said after awhile. "I love where we live now. The sky is full of stars after dark, there are distinct seasons, it's really beautiful." She paused. Her breath so soft that nothing moved.  "It's good to start over, I've changed my name." 

A group hug and round of picture-taking shifted the mood back to party mode. The room rocked, more like bounced, with girlish giggling, oohs and aahs, and a familial competitive spirit as one game followed the other, winners announced and applauded, followed by short silly speeches. More giggling.

Strapless afternoon dresses swirled and long straight hair hung thick and groomed over straight bare shoulder, while these friends tried to remember what had been so important way back when they were in high school, even in grade school.

"The pomegranate tree, the pomegranate tree," someone shouted. 

"Do you remember the pomegranate tree in the school yard?" asked my dearest young friend who had just announced her wedding day. 

I shook my head. I really didn't.

"I do," her mother said. 

And that, I thought to myself, is what today is all about. 

"I do." 

We were at a wedding shower...

...in Los Angeles having a great time when one of the six bridesmaid's announced her big day would be 8/8/08. 

"I love the idea of 8-8-8," she bubbled and cooed, reaching her long arms around me and bumping my forehead like we were making a toast. "I wasn't sure about this until today, and now it is just so clear to me," she added in that whirlwind way that spirals upward in its own vacuum and tunnel.

Her mother quietly beamed at her, then at me. The paucity of words made her glow that much more meaningful. This woman had lost her husband of nearly 3 decades only a year earlier following a protracted illness. She, herself, was ill although no one spoke about it. 

"I'm really happy, I think," the mother said after awhile. "I love where we live now. The sky is full of stars after dark, there are distinct seasons, it's really beautiful." She paused. Her breath so soft that nothing moved.  "It's good to start over, I've changed my name." 

A group hug and round of picture-taking shifted the mood back to party mode. The room rocked, more like bounced, with girlish giggling, oohs and aahs, and a familial competitive spirit as one game followed the other, winners announced and applauded, followed by short silly speeches. More giggling.

Strapless afternoon dresses swirled and long straight hair hung thick and groomed over straight bare shoulder, while these friends tried to remember what had been so important way back when they were in high school, even in grade school.

"The pomegranate tree, the pomegranate tree," someone shouted. 

"Do you remember the pomegranate tree in the school yard?" asked my dearest young friend who had just announced her wedding day. 

I shook my head. I really didn't.

"I do," her mother said. 

And that, I thought to myself, is what today is all about. 

"I do." 

Sometimes it is all about how we SEE things

My husband can be so annoying. He has these all-knowing illusions.   

For instance, tonight my son called asking how to get mold off of his linen pants. He'd stuffed gym clothes in the hamper (where they should go as opposed to on the floor) and forgotten about them for a few days. One entire pant leg had grown mold. 

My husband overhears our conversation, and intervenes with well-intentioned information about lemon juice and salt and putting the pants in the sun to dry. Instead of shutting up at that point, he makes a comment alluding to how careless and irresponsible our son is. He points out that car keys have been misplaced, a cell phone crushed, and now linen pants damaged. 

 My husband then hangs up the phone, with no illusion whatsoever as to his hurtfulness. I hit redial, and calmly remind my son that his father might be allusive since this is his assessment, and perhaps there is something more going on that we need to discuss and correct.

His girlfriend has been giving him a hard time for forgetting things. He gave her a birthday card (not a gift) two weeks late. FYI: Alluding to a poor memory eludes the fact that she will have no illusions about you.

He added that she has been "picking on him" this weekend. My son continued to elude his forgetfulness claiming a hundred good reasons. 

I decide to ask him directly why he is being so elusive suggesting  that this is actually about his illusiveness. 

Sometimes, things slip his mind, he says, like the gym clothes and giving her a gift, not to mention the card. He doesn't understand why his dad and girlfriend are upset with him. He just wants to clean up the linen pant, and get along with them both. He's one sad fellow.

So, it falls to me, the mother to point out to him that he is under the illusion that there are no consequences for actions. You put sweaty gym clothes on linen pants in a closed place, and mold will grow. You fail to give your girlfriend a gift, or at the very least a card, for her birthday, and she will be unhappy with you. Your dad isn't going to be sympathetic, he's going to point out the obvious, matter-of-fact.

It is illusory of him to pretend otherwise. That illusiveness could well be what is eluding him from properly caring for the sweaty gm clothes and the girlfriend. It even might be why he lost his car keys. It is time, I alluded to him gently, to be open to meeting new girls.

And, I added, keep in mind that your father only alludes to being right all the time because he has illusions about himself which trip him up on a regular basis as he eludes the obvious, which is that I am the one who is usually right. 

Sometimes it is all about how we SEE things

My husband can be so annoying. He has these all-knowing illusions.   

For instance, tonight my son called asking how to get mold off of his linen pants. He'd stuffed gym clothes in the hamper (where they should go as opposed to on the floor) and forgotten about them for a few days. One entire pant leg had grown mold. 

My husband overhears our conversation, and intervenes with well-intentioned information about lemon juice and salt and putting the pants in the sun to dry. Instead of shutting up at that point, he makes a comment alluding to how careless and irresponsible our son is. He points out that car keys have been misplaced, a cell phone crushed, and now linen pants damaged. 

 My husband then hangs up the phone, with no illusion whatsoever as to his hurtfulness. I hit redial, and calmly remind my son that his father might be allusive since this is his assessment, and perhaps there is something more going on that we need to discuss and correct.

His girlfriend has been giving him a hard time for forgetting things. He gave her a birthday card (not a gift) two weeks late. FYI: Alluding to a poor memory eludes the fact that she will have no illusions about you.

He added that she has been "picking on him" this weekend. My son continued to elude his forgetfulness claiming a hundred good reasons. 

I decide to ask him directly why he is being so elusive suggesting  that this is actually about his illusiveness. 

Sometimes, things slip his mind, he says, like the gym clothes and giving her a gift, not to mention the card. He doesn't understand why his dad and girlfriend are upset with him. He just wants to clean up the linen pant, and get along with them both. He's one sad fellow.

So, it falls to me, the mother to point out to him that he is under the illusion that there are no consequences for actions. You put sweaty gym clothes on linen pants in a closed place, and mold will grow. You fail to give your girlfriend a gift, or at the very least a card, for her birthday, and she will be unhappy with you. Your dad isn't going to be sympathetic, he's going to point out the obvious, matter-of-fact.

It is illusory of him to pretend otherwise. That illusiveness could well be what is eluding him from properly caring for the sweaty gm clothes and the girlfriend. It even might be why he lost his car keys. It is time, I alluded to him gently, to be open to meeting new girls.

And, I added, keep in mind that your father only alludes to being right all the time because he has illusions about himself which trip him up on a regular basis as he eludes the obvious, which is that I am the one who is usually right. 

Fanciful Thinking: Falling For Fun

There's this doctor I know. He's a great friend, semi-retired,  and looks like he ought to be the serious type. He isn't. But he is smart.

Today we got on the subject of anxiety. Considering the fact that Israel and Iran might be on the brink of war, millions of people around the world are starving or at best struggling to survive, there is a meteorite (or some kind of giant thing) out there hurtling toward earth, and Barak Obama just might be a Muslim with a wife who isn't proud to be an American...

What-ifs came up. 

He leaned sideways in a chair, clasp his sturdy hands together and made that mischievous smile that I've learned means something is cooking in that well-balanced mind.

"I was driving along Sunset (boulevard in Los Angeles) the other day in my Lexus, with the sun setting on the horizon," he said. "Now since the earth is round and it's always turning, thank goodness for gravity."

He started laughing. His glasses bounced sideways on his nose. He held his arms out in front of him making a circle, fingers touching. 

"I imagined myself, in my car, falling off the earth, floating or something, just out there," he said in spurts and starts.  "What would happen, if gravity just let go, and I was on the underside of the planet?"

This was funny. He wasn't anxious about it all, it was just a fanciful idea. Laughter is contagious, you know. The whole anxiety thing had taken a turn on its axis which brought up the giant rock in space problem.

Now, the big deal with this meteorite is that when it hits, it will smash to smithereens the whole city of Los Angeles, assuming that's where it hits.

"Los Angeles is this tiny little place, but the desert is this huge area," he said. "So what are the chances it will hit some relatively tiny place within a great big mass of land? It's not even going to get close until something like 2029."

He's laughing again. 

Here's the point. It is possible to worry about all kinds of things, some of them really serious. But there are a lot of very capable, well trained people who are working everyday to make our world and the people who live on it, safer and more secure. Worrying, hand-wringing is pointless. Like they say at AA meetings, I'm paraphrasing here. Change what you can, let go of the rest, and know the difference.

Really now, falling off the world in your Lexus... 

What do you think?  

   

Fanciful Thinking: Falling For Fun

There's this doctor I know. He's a great friend, semi-retired,  and looks like he ought to be the serious type. He isn't. But he is smart.

Today we got on the subject of anxiety. Considering the fact that Israel and Iran might be on the brink of war, millions of people around the world are starving or at best struggling to survive, there is a meteorite (or some kind of giant thing) out there hurtling toward earth, and Barak Obama just might be a Muslim with a wife who isn't proud to be an American...

What-ifs came up. 

He leaned sideways in a chair, clasp his sturdy hands together and made that mischievous smile that I've learned means something is cooking in that well-balanced mind.

"I was driving along Sunset (boulevard in Los Angeles) the other day in my Lexus, with the sun setting on the horizon," he said. "Now since the earth is round and it's always turning, thank goodness for gravity."

He started laughing. His glasses bounced sideways on his nose. He held his arms out in front of him making a circle, fingers touching. 

"I imagined myself, in my car, falling off the earth, floating or something, just out there," he said in spurts and starts.  "What would happen, if gravity just let go, and I was on the underside of the planet?"

This was funny. He wasn't anxious about it all, it was just a fanciful idea. Laughter is contagious, you know. The whole anxiety thing had taken a turn on its axis which brought up the giant rock in space problem.

Now, the big deal with this meteorite is that when it hits, it will smash to smithereens the whole city of Los Angeles, assuming that's where it hits.

"Los Angeles is this tiny little place, but the desert is this huge area," he said. "So what are the chances it will hit some relatively tiny place within a great big mass of land? It's not even going to get close until something like 2029."

He's laughing again. 

Here's the point. It is possible to worry about all kinds of things, some of them really serious. But there are a lot of very capable, well trained people who are working everyday to make our world and the people who live on it, safer and more secure. Worrying, hand-wringing is pointless. Like they say at AA meetings, I'm paraphrasing here. Change what you can, let go of the rest, and know the difference.

Really now, falling off the world in your Lexus... 

What do you think?  

   

Yes, You Do Have a Third Eye. How to Use It.

I like to watch people. You're not supposed to do that in yoga class, so I make a real effort to watch myself. That's where the third eye comes in to play. It located just above the eyebrows (doesn't matter if you have one or two), right in the middle. This is supposed to be the place of wisdom. Since it is up there with the ears, noses, and eyes, it also relates to the sinuses.

So, here are some tips for those of us with sinus problems. 

1. If you're not sure whether you belong to this group, ask yourself if you sniffle like a puppy especially when you put your head on your pillow at night.

2. Okay, so you're in the sinus club. Here's the deal, you've got an imbalance. Might be hormonal which gets us women off the hook. We can be as nutty as you please and say it is sinus congestion. Or it may be connected to the nervous system which would explain the depression that could accompany the distress of puppy sniffling and the associated discomfort.

3. Now lets assume you get depressed from this malady. I do. It's so annoying. quite possibly you've lost touch with your creativity. Maybe you have problems focusing and concentrating, feel confused and negative. 

4. Does this sound like you? Have you lost track of direction and intellectual stimulation? In other words, do you hang out on the sofa, eat comfort food, and watch TV a lot? Do you hate your job and feel wiped out at night?

Here are some solutions.

1. Get in touch with your intuitive self.  Yoga is a good way to do this, but not the only way. Pay attention to what's going on around you. What part of it do you like, and hate. Admit to the truth, don't waste anymore time complaining.

2. Stay with this awareness and stand up straight. Hold your head up. Find your backbone and search out your heart's direction. Work at it with some kind of meaningfulness, even if it doesn't pay money, and talk about your high ideals out loud. 

3. Devote yourself to this endeavor and allow your intuition and imagination to flourish. You can still be straight-laced, even stodgy if you're more comfortable that way while you experience oneness with your higher self, gaining that sense of oneness that liberates the soul.

4. Now your integration, strength of self since you've let go of that outer depression and discouragement will allow you to release your anxiety. You don't need it anymore. You've found your self-realization and mastery. You could even do something out of your usual routine or comfort zone.

This may not be the answer to your lousy roommate problem or financial misfortunes, but by now a few weeks, maybe months have gone by, and you are probably healthier and happier.

So if the sniffles still bother you, then you may have a deviated septum or some allergy to grasses, or something else like that. I've heard that three tablets of beta carotene three times a day for three days helps cure allergies. I'm no doctor, I just heard that while watching and listening to people. 

At least this way, you might not support the pharmaceutical industry. I felt kind of dizzy after 90 minutes of third eye work, but it was a good dizzy and just for awhile.

I think I've gained wisdom, too, since I can pass this on to you.

Try it.