Hearts and Houses for Sale: Broom, Witch, and Katz

The bouncing brought Selene to her senses. "Ouch,  put me down, put me down," she demanded.  "I have a broken rib. Put me down."

"Just another moment, ma'am," the fireman said. He held her firmly to him. "Can you sit up?"

"What's going on here?" Selene demanded. "I was talking on the phone." She remembered the fog and her headache which had become an eye-ache. "I look terrible. Why did you take me out of my house? Oh no! Is my house on fire?"  Selene looked the fireman in the face. "Oh my!" she said. He was gorgeous, and young enough to be her son. 

"No, no, no. It's your neighbor's garage, up the hill," he said as he seated her with large gloved strong hands in a green lattice chaise brought round from her patio. "Caused lots of smoke. Seems you were the only person in your cul de sac at home." 

"I smell it," Selene said. "Nasty. What is that?" She rubbed her eyes, then stopped. Make-up smear, she thought.

"Linseed oil and paint rags," the fireman said. "Never leave old paint rags in linseed oil, ma'am. It's a sure thing to catch fire."

"I know that," Selene said as her back and neck cracked at the same time. "I'm a real estate agent."

"Oh yeah," he said. "I've seen your bus bench ad. I knew you looked familiar." 

Selene had to laugh. She'd had that advertisement for years and no one ever remarked on it. He had to be under 30. "Are you interested in buying?" she asked.

"Well, actually, my wife wants this one house in particular. She saw it yesterday with our boys and her dad," he said. "Did you break your fingers or sprain them?"

Selene sighed. Would anyone believe this if she told them ,which about now she was thinking she probably wouldn't. "Twin boys came to my open house yesterday and bumped into me. I broke the rib and fingers when I hit the floor," she said, looking him straight in the eye, unflinching. She could not stop the smile that crept across her face. "The boys wanted to see the tree house. Their grandpa is quite a character."

"Ah, no. I'm so sorry, do you believe that, ah, ma'am...," he didn't have anymore words to say. He turned left then right and backed off about two feet. "Hey, Captain, come here," he called to a man near the fire truck. "This is the real estate lady the boys knocked down."

"It's okay," Selene said. "Occupational hazard. I was about to leave for the office to review your offer before all this." Watching a fireman squirm didn't seem right. A shiver went down her spine. "Are you afraid of me now?" she asked. "Really. Help me up. I have to go open all the windows to air the house, and..." The car. It was back at the open house property, Henry Powell was on the way, and, he had her cell phone. 

The Captain stood at attention in front of her.  "Nice to meet you. How you feeling?" he asked. "You should stay out of your house for the rest of the day."  He shifted his weight from foot to foot. "I'm Captain Katz. This is Lieutenant Broom. So, you met his boys?" he asked, laughing in spite of his stiff stance and stolid demeanor.

"Hello," Selene said. "It's nice to meet you both. I didn't even hear the fire truck arrive. Thank you for saving me."  Selene thought for a moment. "Smoke, a broom, a katz, house on a hill, and twin boys who want a tree house for a treat...does that mean I am the witch?"

"Ah, no. It's January and daytime and you're not wearing black," Lieutenant Broom said. Realizing he had put his foot in his mouth, he tried to make amends. "San Pedro is an old area, lots of potential for trouble when people have to fix up the old fire-traps they bought."

"You're the good witch if you sell them the house at the price they want to pay," the Captain said. He slapped Lieutenant Broom on the back. "Stay put, ma'am, and rest. We have to have you checked out."

"I'm not going anywhere until my friend gets here," Selene said, gesturing toward her driveway. "No car, no phone, just my red shoes..." Selene leaned back in the chaise. I hope they still want the house after they see the condition of the tree house, she thought.

And that's the truth. To some extent.

to be continued...  

Hearts and Houses for Sale

Selene is a real estate agent in the South Bay area of Los Angeles county. She's worked hard to build her business, and in spite of the current financial collapse, she goes door-knocking, cold calling, and keeps her focus on the forward track. Her professionalism is evident in her appearance and demeanor. 

Almost every morning she's at her desk with the computer on by 8:30. Probably has at least one call out of the way already, and a couple of on-going property sales notched up a level. If she had a motto, and maybe she does, it could rightfully be, "list with Selene, your house will sell" and that would be an understatement.

At team meetings, she's one of the first to stand up, introduce herself and ask questions or offer solutions. "Hello," she will say. "I'm Selene...

"...single and available," her boss adds before she can say another word. "Listen up, men, you can learn from this woman. And, she is single."

Selene blushes, stands taller and continues. She knows her male colleagues look at her and she gives them a nice picture to view. What she has to say counts, but just not quite as much as the view, and that gives her an edge which translates to dollars. 

That edge also keeps men safely at arm's length. "I have to set boundaries," she says. "I have to know that I'm getting what I want. I do it with my work. I have to do it with my life."

As she sits at a Sunday afternoon Open House, knowing she will probably sell it to a particular couple who are soon to arrive, she ponders her life situation.

I like men. Men like me. I'm great at my career. My career is great for me. So, why am I still single? I work well with men. We have fun together. The sex is, often, terrific. I sure do my part. Men get so sensitive. They can be such big babies.  I say what I mean, and they take it the wrong way. 

Somebody should give men a primer.

 

#1. Learn how to be a good kisser.

#2. Easy sex equals stupid. 

#3. Dating is fun. 

#4. Dating if you have a wife or girlfriend is stupid.

#5. Dinner is nice, but so is hiking.

#6. Not talking is stupid. Not listening is stupider.

#7. Bathe, wash your hair, and keep your nails clean.

#8. Doing that only for work is stupid.

#9. Laugh with a woman. 

#10. Sticking your tongue down her throat is not the same thing.

A knock on the open door snaps her back on the job. A tall, dark and handsome man walks into the room. Her heart flutters, then it sinks. It isn't the couple who wanted to look through the house once more before submitting a bid. Selene checks her cell. No calls. They're over a half hour late.