Hearts and Houses for Sale: Bulls-Eye

If home is where the heart is, the Lebowsky's ripped theirs apart on the way to a divorce. Stella is looking for a new house with her new boyfriend. The only thing going for this old place is the low-low-low price. It's too close to the harbor, and a postage stamp of a lot. There's not even a garage.

I'll leave the rest of the visuals up to you, except I will say it has a ransacked look and smell. "What have you accomplished so far today?" I ask my trusty contractor, Joe, who is worth his weight in gold (and he weighs probably 200 pounds).

He folded his arms across his chest and took a wide-legged stance like the Laker's fan he is. "The junker is out of the backyard. The pile of stones are all in one corner. The Andy Gump people been here today, but, well, the porch, I don't know." I looked at his crew sitting against the sole tree, a circle of dusty sweaty men and boys speaking rapid Spanish. "We're knocking off for today," he said.

"Here's water and chips for all," I said, handing over a brown paper bag. Paid for by me, but I'll make it back. "Tomorrow the inside, Joe. the bathroom.  "You've got to keep moving, I'll bring a fan over."

I hopped gingerly on my toes until I made it up the five steps to the porch and doorway. This house could be such a Victorian cutie. I wanted Joe to know exactly what he had to do. Get the crap off the floor, swab it down, TCP the walls, rehang the lime green light fixture and the glitter ball in the kitchen. The bathroom has to be usable.  Staging is scheduled for Monday. The Lebowsky's pay for that. "I'm counting on you, Joe." 

My phone beeped about then. A text from Hopi. What's he want? My head ached, I needed lunch. I text back. "Meet u @ Thai place, blvd, 15 mins, I have 1 hr." 

"See you, Joe, please put in another hour this afternoon before you knock off." I smiled right at him and slowly fluttered of my newly dyed eyelashes. Corny but it works with him.

I practically ran down the driveway before he could refuse. By now, the sun blinded my left eye. I felt the pain coming on. No migraine. Not now. Sunglasses, always remember the sunglasses.

Getting into my car, I looked back at the house. It'll sell. Those steps are a death trap, for now. Minimal landscaping, flowers will give curb appeal. The bathroom just has to be usable. Stella's an idiot. Throws her house and her husband away. Wonder if she found her boyfriend on Craigslist?

Good old Craigslist. I found my date for tonight on there. A nice man from Mecca is taking me to hear a Japanese instrumentalist quartet. He has a strong accent. I hope I can understand him. Did I say he's nice. I'm curious about the Japanese quartet.

OMG, Hopi again. I'll have to change his ring tone. "What is it?" I say too loud, too strident, too fast into the phone as I turn on the ignition. "I'm busy, Hopi." I pull out onto the street. Thoughts about this house are racing through my mind. The big problem with the house is the bathroom. I knew that going into this. So deal with it, Selene. Glancing back it looks better from a distance. "You're what?" I hit the brakes. "You're offering the Brooms' a loan to buy your house?" 

A dart of pain bullets through my left temple. "Can we close the deal?" I'll get food and find out. "I'll meet you over there."

And that's the truth. To some extent.

to be continued